Scott was finishing up his semester at school, which is always hard for me, and the girls both got very needy all at once. I was trying to keep up the house (and failing miserably,) the girls, Scott, and sometimes even myself, without complaining (which is very hard for me!) I feel so whiny, especially when I hear stories of the other wives in the ward who have husbands working all hours of the day and night for days on end.
Anyway, I'm not trying to make excuses for myself, I'm just setting the stage for what happened next. So, last night we went over to Scott's sister's for dinner, and I was not entirely sociable. I don't like to do that in front of people, so I got even more upset. I finally realized that I couldn't handle myself on my own and asked Scott for a blessing. I am so grateful to have a priesthood holder in my home! It was a great experience for both of us, and it was a boost I really needed. Isn't it cool how Heavenly Father knows exactly what you need to hear and will tell you if you just ask, and then listen!?
So, today, I enjoyed my girls again. For the first time in a long time. We had fun, dressed up, and I even let them splash at bath time. I know I have really been blessed with great kids. They put up with me, they must be great!
I have realized that I need to share what I'm going through so I don't have to do it alone. I guess that's one good thing about blogging, I can do it, and edit myself, and not have to see anybody or feel like a screw up in front of everybody. I mean, if you think I'm an idiot and comment it, I can delete it! So, here's to putting yourself out there.
7 comments:
I'm glad you got a blessing! And we did have a lot of fun with you last night! I love this picture of the girls that you posted, too!
Cute pic! You say it started three weeks ago? Isn't that when you got your new calling? Uh oh. Glad you are feeling better though.
I wish these spiritual fixes were permanent, but they aren't. I thought I was doing great, but the last two days my inner banshee has been released. I guess you just have to keep trying.
I am sooo glad you are there too, is that mean, I don't mean it in a mean way really. I am just at that point too, and also see the other wives with husbands gone so much more and wonder in amazement that they still haven't exploded into millions of pieces like I feel like I am about to do. If it makes you feel any better whenever I see you, you look great and are always smiling.
Sarah, you are no idiot. You seem like a pretty typical, normal mom! As do Cassie, Jamie, Shayleen, etc... (Hey, you all have something in common -- YOUNG kids! Hang in there! Life will get different soon enough -- not better or easier, just different!)
Jamie, I love your "inner banshee" comment! Cassie, I think we all explode into millions of pieces at times... it's just not public.
Sarah, I think you shared this perspective simply because I need to be reminded that I don't have to do it all alone, and that asking for a blessing to help me cope is a legitimate option!!
Is there something in the water, ladies?! Are we all struggling lately?
Um, Sarah, you sound pretty darn normal to me. In fact, you all do. I think it's hard on anyone when they feel like they, alone, are responsible for keeping the household running, feeding the family, paying the bills, running the errands, doing the laundry, washing the dishes, keeping the kids clean, fed, clothed, and nurtured on top of it all.
I have exploded into a millions pieces on more than one occasion -- not a pretty sight.
I am glad that you are doing better, but don't ever hesistate to call for help -- I (and so many of us) truly understand, and we can take the kids for a few hours so you can decompress, or rest, or clean, or shop, whatever you need to do to feel better.
Ok... for years I envied sisters who were able to have more than one child, and I would have given anything to have a house full... but now.. I'm pretty grateful that I have quiet time in my house and that I'm not struggling with trying to keep up with youngsters who have way more energy than me! I can still relate to the inner banshee though- I do have a teenage daughter, after all!!
Keep hanging in there!!
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